Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow....

It's Friday. Its been a very, very long week. I'm going to spend the weekend doing laundry and sorting through clothes that don't fit. I need to find enough confidence to wear the size that actually fits me instead of trying to hide in something too big. It's hard because even though I have lost weight, I know I still have a ways to go. I did go on the treadmill last night, so hopefully that is the beginning of a positive change.

I also decided to, at least for a while, stop coloring my hair. I don't know what's my natural color is anymore and I'm a bit curious to see if I have any gray. I can always dye it at any time, but I think I'll let it grow out a bit. It's also time to find a style other than "hanging drably". My hair looked really good yesterday, but unfortunately I left that curling iron over at M's, so it could be awhile before I get it back.

The 21 year old son of a coworker passed away last weekend and the funeral is today. I wish I could make myself go, but I'm in no emotional position to be handle it appropriately. Maybe that makes me a terrible, selfish person. But I've got stuff going on that is just wrecking me, and I can't even fathom seeing the pain these people are going through. I feel guilty being such a mess over my stuff when clearly my pain and issues can't compare to theirs. I will pray for us all to find peace.