Oh hold up, I need another one......

Why am I listening to an Ashlee Simpson song this morning??? Sometimes even I question my musical judgment.

I spent 6 hours yesterday working on CH's quilt. I was going to post a picture of where I am at so far, but I sent it to a friend and he messaged back asking if it was a picture of my leftover fabric. I really, really want this to turn out well, and I feel a little like I may have undertaken something that's a little bit beyond my skill level. But then there is the part of me that knows I can do anything I set my mind to. and its the thought that counts, right???

I think I'm going to make breakfast and then work on the blanket and watch netflix for awhile. Then when the princess wakes up, we will get the chili going. This is going to be an awesome Sunday of doing nothing!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a41s4IMyamQ

'cause I'm just going through the emotions......

This article is one of the most hilarious and horribly true things I have ever read: http://deadspin.com/adrian-peterson-is-a-fucking-moron-1693304284 I loved loved loved Adrian Peterson. He almost replaced Moss as my all-time favorite Viking ever. Well, no one will ever replace Moss. But I did love AP! And he turned out to be such a dummyhead!!

Is it incredibly selfish for me to want him to work his crap out so that I do not have to replace my $130 jersey? I'm tired of having to buy new ones, and I don't want AP to join the ranks of my Cunningham, Culpepper, Moss and Jared Allen jerseys at the Goodwill.

I was up, showered, and dressed by 7 am on a Saturday. And so far today I have accomplished a lot. I successfully removed an adware program from my laptop. I was a bit scared to mess around in the applications folder since I'm still not entirely familiar or comfortable with the Mac operating system, but the adware is gone and I can still log onto the internet, so I didn't screw things up to bad. I've had this laptop for well over a year and have never had any virus issues, but last week somehow I picked up a couple of adware programs. But now they are gone! Yay me!!

Todays agenda includes a trip to the haircutting place, the fabric store, and Target. Tonight we are making enchiladas for dinner. And tomorrow we are making Chili. One of my most favorite childhood memories is making chili with my dad, even though he really only let me open up cans. It was still fun to help him, and in the process I learned an awesome chili recipe. I know she's not little anymore, but I hope the Princess still enjoys spending time with me cooking and that she will look back at this as time well spent. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiHDg5d6HQw

That kind of music just soothes the soul.....

It's Friday!! I've got a wonderful weekend of nothing planned. Tomorrow I'm going to take the Princess to get her hair cut and then we are going to the fabric store. I'm going to spend the weekend working on CH's baby blanket. I'm a little concerned because I've never actually made a blanket before, but I think I have a plan. Now I just need to get the rest of the supplies. I hope it turns out!!

I joined Weight Watchers online yesterday. I just need some accountability, and hopefully having to log everything I eat will help. But I did find out that the Vero Mango Chili suckers I've been eating a lot of are 2 points each. I wish I didn't love them so much. They are like the perfect combo of spicy and salty and sweet. I'm excited to move forward on WW. I think this will be the 187th time I've joined, but it has always worked. I just wish I was as good at maintaining as I am at losing. Maybe this will be the time that the weight loss "sticks". I guess before I make maintenance plans, I should actually lose the weight. (insert comment about horse and cart)

I painted my nails a new gel color last night. It's quite cleverly called "Raisin the Bar". I think I like it. Unlike regular nail colors, light pink colors in gel polish don't get all blotchy and dotty, for lack of a better way to describe it. I've been putting 2 coats of Pink Armor Nail Gel Polish on my nails before I do the gel polish. Pink Armor is AMAZING! And since its not a light activated gel, it makes the gel polish come off super easy. Since I've been doing it that way, I have not had to scrape off the gel. I just do the aluminum foil wrap for 15 minutes and the polish just peels right off.
Raisin the Bar:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-yMlF_xpDY

And just fake it if you're out of direction.....

So last night I watched my first NBA game in at least 3 years. Well, sort of. I did have to go to bed at 10:15 so I didn't see the end. I was so happy to wake up and see the final score!! I've super loved Stephen Curry since 2008 and his run to the Elite Eight. I had them going to the Sweet Sixteen, and that was a huge bracket win for me! Of course I had them losing to Wisconsin because of some misguided need to always go Big Ten.

I'm so excited to have a love of all things sports back!! I'm not sure how I lost it, and why I quit doing so many things I loved so much. If I wasn't watching a game, I would at least have some sort of sporting event on the TV in the background. I used to live for March Madness and Selection Sunday. I'm not sure if I was trying to "punish" myself by not doing things I enjoyed, or if I just truly lost myself in the depression, or if all the meds just sort of made me not care. Anyhow, I am back! Totally and completely!!

So can Golden State beat the Cavs?? My money is on LeBron, but my heart is with Steph Curry.

Ok, I think I need to investigate the pricing differences between Dish Network and Comcast. I'm so done with DirecTV. I'm so cranky about my boxes continually not working. I keep getting error messages and the boxes need to be reset. I have had the main one replaced twice. So, now I just need to figure out which company has the best pricing for the only channels I want - ESPN and BTN. I see a spreadsheet in my future!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy8HPSIFXEM

Wednesday I feel better just for spite.....

It's Wednesday already! I love 4 day weeks, they go so much faster than 5 day weeks (duh!). I hit the snooze button about 47 times this morning and ended up with 20 minutes to get out the door. I made it to work with 1 minute to spare. Sometimes I am amazed by my awesomeness.

I've got a busy day ahead, I'm still trying to catch up on all my emails from last week. Then I need to tackle the ones from this week. At least the day goes fast when I have lots of work to do. For at least the past year, C-C-W and I message back and forth all day, and that makes the day so much better! Often we are just complaining about stuff, and we are VERY good complainers!

I hope she doesn't get in trouble for messaging me like ZarahZou did that one time for emailing me. Back when she had an easier job than raising 4 kids, we used to email back and forth all day. We averaged about 130 emails a day. And most of them were just smiley faces.

I've been alternating between 3 Pandora channels - RHCP, Nickleback and 80's Country. I think today may be time to mix it up a little. I think I'm going to go with Madonna for awhile. And the first song is Into the Groove. It would make me want to dance, if I could actually dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwC5xfh4nfE
And this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egvraT1oBH0

I picked you up and put you back on solid ground.....

Today is a Tuesday that feels like a Monday. But at least it's a 4 day work week. And I have over 100 emails to deal with and I haven't even checked my voice mail yet. I'm scared to because I had 47 missed calls. It's going to be a busy day. At least I remembered to bring my coffee in from the car!

Yesterday I had my dad and brother over for dinner. I grilled hamburgers and they were super good. I even grilled the onions. I was thinking that I didn't really accomplish much over my 5 day weekend, but then I remembered that I fixed my dryer and got all caught up on laundry. I cleaned my kitchen, I spent a lot of time with my daughter. I started the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff workbook. Really, I had an excellent weekend. 

I painted my nails a new color called Hi Ho Silver. Its a silvery glitter color, and I really don't like it. But its a gel color so I'm stuck with it for at least a week. It would be a really good color for just the tips over either a hot pink or dark purple. But I have a couple new colors and I want to use one of them next. Maybe I will do that this weekend. 

I'm taking a break from chicken and brown rice since I got a super good deal on WW Smart Ones dinners. I know I shouldn't really eat them because of all the sodium, but I am so sick of cauliflower. I will go back to the chicken thing next week. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPU8OAjjS4k

Turn the clock to zero honey......

I have no idea why I'm up so early on a non-work day, I stayed up pretty late last night. I've been binge watching Lost Girl on Netflix, but I wanted a break from it and was looking for a movie to watch. But then I saw the ESPN 30 for 30 doc I Hate Christian Laettner, and decided that might be fun to watch. It was really good! I so miss hating Duke!! (And Iowa!!)

I guess I was so busy hating Laettner that I never realized what an awesome college b-ball player he was. His accomplishments....wow! And I totally spaced out that he played for the Timberwolves. I still don't like him, but I have a new found respect for him and his abilities.

I'm going to spend the day doing laundry. I washed my NKOTB sleeping bag yesterday, now I just have to decide what to do with it. Its way too hot to sleep with it. I'm using my lunch box as a make up case, and its perfect for that! Maybe today I will take down the posters that are still up from 80's night.

I hope it doesn't rain today, I really want to grill. And maybe go for a walk??


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cA46ZNjrzeY

The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses falling all around.... all around

Yes, I deleted another blog post. But this time I did it for me. I need a delayed posting option, because some things are just not meant to be shared publicly. Sometimes a glass of wine at 9 am and internet access just do not mix!! To the person who commented, you are 100% right. I'm not even going to try to defend myself or justify anything, because you are right. So! Very! Right! Thank you! And I am sorry. It may not mean anything to you, but I really am sorry.

I went shopping with the Princess. And then we decided on tacos for a late lunch/early dinner. We were going to grill, but its raining on and off, and I might melt. Hopefully we will be able to grill tomorrow.

I bought the most awesomest outfit for our next 80's Glee night. Its not even been planned yet, but when you see the perfect outfit, you just have to buy it. And I can actually wash it since my dryer still works. I can't believe I actually fixed it!

This is the one of the best articles I've ever read on KG and the T-Wolves. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2421236-a-man-in-full-the-many-sides-of-kevin-garnett-the-player-who-changed-the-nba  I'm really kind of excited for the upcoming draft. I haven't watched a draft since the Timberwolves did NOT take Stephen Curry, despite my screaming at the TV for them to. I can't remember but I think they had back-to-back picks in the top ten and they took Rubio with one of them. I can't even remember who else they took, but it wasn't Curry. Curry, the all-star and 2015 MVP.

Ooooh! It was Jonny Flynn they took over Curry. He had a really good rookie year, but then he was traded I think after his second season. I wonder where he's at now?? I don't think he's playing in the NBA, but I haven't been paying very much attention to sports the past couple years. But now I'm excited about it again. And I'm going to start a countdown to Midnight Madness!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TICq2VDXk8U

Only when I stop to think about it....

It's Pedi-Playdate Day!!! Yay!! Not only do I get a pedicure, I also get to have lunch with ZarahZou! And we are going to Bakers Square, which means a honey mustard club pita, pretty much one of the greatest foods ever!

All of my favorite restaurants are my favorites based on some kind of sauce or dip. I love Bakers Square for the honey mustard, Famous Dave's for the Sweet & Zesty BBQ Sauce, el toro for the white  dip......

The new belt for my dryer came in the mail yesterday. And I successfully installed it and my dryer now works!!! Yay me!! It was a messy, bloody endeavor, but so worth it to do it myself. Well, the Princess did help me. I cut myself 3 times, the pulley thing that the belt needs to be wrapped around is way far behind the drum, and there are lots of sharp things back there. And holy lint!! So I also had to clean out the inside of the dryer. I did end up with an extra screw when I was done putting it back together, so its possible the entire dryer could collapse. But I think it'll be okay!

My younger sister called me last night. She actually almost gave me a compliment when she told me that in the 5 Facebook pictures where I'm smiling, I'm really pretty. Obviously if she was saying something nice about me she was clearly drunk! Nobody ever calls me pretty. Well, that one guy who said I was prettier than Audrey Hepburn, but then he had to go and break my heart in 17 places.  Anyhow, I've pretty much accepted that my fate is to be cute, not pretty. And adorable, not beautiful. If I had a dollar for ever person that has called me cute or adorable this past week, I'd have at least $7.  But cute is for kittens and babies wearing bows. I wonder if I'm the only one in the universe to ever burst into tears after being called cute? Because that actually did happen last week.

Ok, time to finish getting ready because I have to leave in a few minutes. Pedi Time!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ekz_CSBVg

We may lose and we may win, though we will never be here again.....

Today is one of my favorite holidays, Pedi-Eve. Thats the night before a pedi-playdate with ZarahZou. I'm so excited to get a pedicure, I think its been at least a month since I got one. Why do I wait so long??

I'm trying to decide how to spend the day. A part of me is leaning towards pajamas and Netflix, but another part wants to find motivation to go tanning and for a walk. And then there is the fact that my kitchen needs to be cleaned. And I sort of want to paint my nails. So many options!!!

Currently there is a Tabby-Wabby laying on my keyboard. That makes it incredibly difficult to type. I asked her to move, but she glared at me. Apparently in my way is her favorite spot to hang out.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhH3mRkKDX8

I'm not a mind reader but I'm reading the signs......

The concert last night was one of the best nights ever! No, I didn't actually get to marry Joey McIntyre. We have decided to postpone that until after the next time they come here. C-C-W and I devised an epic plan for the next concert. Sorry, I can't share it, but I don't want anyone to steal it. Its LITERALLY our BEST! PLAN! EVER! For real! And we have had a ton of good schemes and plans.  This one is the best!!

NKOTB puts on a killer show. They know that the 40 year old women (and the 29 year old me) are in the audience to hear the old songs, and they play the best ones. I got tons of compliments on my Joey shirt and my shoes. And I peed in the mens bathroom not once, but twice. While men were in there. It was the most hilarious thing ever. Maybe because I was a bit tipsy. lol

Most of my pictures turned out terribly. I super suck at taking pics. But heres Joey, and yes, he was pointing at me:

I checked my work email and there are a couple things I'm going to have to deal with, but at least I can handle them in my pajamas on my couch in my Joey t-shirt. I really don't want to get dressed all day, but there is a part of me that would really like to shower and go to the grocery store to get stuff to grill hamburgers for dinner. These dilemmas, I swear.!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC8N9WywIqY

Well, I guess, it's a brand new day after all....

TONIGHT!!!  I am so excited for the concert tonight!! And C-C-W volunteered to drive! This means that Joey and I can toast our impending nuptials with a bottle of champagne!! I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few hours trying to work when all I want to do is sing!!!

I'm also excited that I get to help plan CH's baby shower! And I get to make chicken bow-tie pasta salad with pistachio-pesto dressing, which is pretty much my single greatest recipe invention ever!

And shoot! I just realized that I left my coffee in my car. and I have been here for over an hour so it's probably cold. Why do I continuously do that? I guess I will just make more.

I added 2 minutes to my tanning time last night, and apparently that was just enough to cause me to burn. I can't wait until I'm tan and can wear dresses! Just a couple more sessions, I think.

I got my Don't Sweat the Small Stuff workbook yesterday, so I think I'm going to work on that over my 5-day weekend. Maybe I will come back to work Monday a completely different, and better, person!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTo3N73hpPg

It's a fool's game, Nothing but a fools game.....

Two more work shifts until NKOTB!!! I'm so excited! I got my Joey T-shirt last night, and I am so excited to wear it. I'm so glad I got it in time!

I took my dryer apart last night. It seems the problem is a broken drum belt, so I ordered a new one online and I am pretty sure I should be able to fix it myself. Because I am just that awesome! And the belt was under $8!! So even if that doesn't make it work, I'm only out a few dollars.

Last night I reconnected with an old friend from high school. Actually, I'm not entirely sure we were more than casual acquaintances in school, but I think we could be friends now! We chatted for about an hour about where life has taken us. Oh! I just remembered that we were on the speech team together in 9th grade. We spent a lot of time together on the bus going to meets.

The speech team was a great experience for me. Everyone always assumes I'm shy because I don't always talk a lot. But the exact opposite has always been true. I have no fears of getting up in front of a group and giving a speech. I started out in serious prose, doing The Giving Tree. But I wasn't really feeling that, so I switched categories and wrote my own speech. It was about moving "across the universe. Well, not the universe, exactly, but across the entire state". I did not ever win anything, but it was a wonderful experience that I'm glad I went through.

Anyhow, KS, I'm glad we got the opportunity to talk and I hope we can be friends. You have always been a lovely, sweet, kind person!

In other news, I'm having one of those moments where I am certain the universe is conspiring against me and wanting me to fail. But I will not. I'm worth way more that!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ6hKIUvZ9w

Stars have their moment and then they die.....

It's another Monday, but not just any Monday. It's only 3 work shifts until I see NKOTB and marry Joey McIntyre!! I'm so excited for the concert. I haven't taken down the posters I hung up in my living room for Glee night. I want to leave them up forever!

I'm thinking I may skip yoga tonight and go tanning and then tear apart my dryer. And hopefully go to bed early.

I feel like I should be listening to the New Kids today, but I'm sort of in a Nick Cave kind of mood. maybe I will finish off this album and then switch over to something not quite so dark and gloomy.

I have a 3 day work week!!! And I have absolutely nothing planned for Thursday and Friday, and I'm so happy about that. Saturday night I have movie night at ZammyZou's. I think I might call Becky and see if she wants to hang out one night. Yes, I think I will.

Okay, off to start my Monday work day!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNCArPzIbBQ

Wish you well, I cannot stay, You deserve an award for the role that you played.....

Last nights 80's Glee event was awesome. It was our best Glee event ever!! C-C-W and I had a little dance party to NKOTB. I don't dance. I'm worse at dancing than singing, and I sing terribly! But it was so much fun. I have the best friends ever!

I'm pretty sure I still might be drunk. We passed a bottle of Fireball around taking shots to the late great Michael Hutchence. And to Inxs. And to Tabby-Wabby for being a cat. Pretty much everything got a shot dedicated to it. I really should know better than to drink Fireball, especially after the disaster that was St. Patricks Day. I just never learn, do I?

Speaking of disasters, I accidentally sent a very, very, very inappropriate text to my daughters friend. I really should not have my phone when I'm drinking!! "oops, sorry, wrong person" just can't undo the nature of this particular text. All I can do is LMAO. I mean, really, why do I make such stupid mistakes?? And then when I finally got the text to the right person, I couldn't stop laughing.

I'm going to spend the day on the couch watching Netflix. And I have to do a couple loads of laundry.  I decided that tomorrow when I get home from work I'm going to take apart my dryer and see if its the belt that needs replacing. I hope its something easy like that because I decided that I don't really want to buy a new dryer when this one is still relatively newish. I'm so indecisive.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDeiovnCv1o

And this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyFzpBAZICc

I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street.....

I slept for 12 & 1/2 hours last night, and it was AWESOME! And now I have to clean my house for tonight. The Princess did a lot of it, but now I've got to finish it and get it set up. I have a ton of NKOTB posters to hang up!! And I still have to buy ice and I want to pre-make the mac & cheese this morning so I just have to throw it in the oven tonight. I love that I have friends wonderful and dorky enough to have a "Glee Club" with me, and that they are willing and wanting to sing out loud!! I know I really can't sing well, but they have never complained or laughed at me! And I love that!

I woke up thinking about a super greasy, high calorie delicious breakfast. But then I weighed myself and saw I lost 2.5 more pounds and decided I'd go with cereal and a banana. I'm getting so much better at making good choices!!

I need to pull out my New Kids video dvd because I think I'm going to have that playing tonight while we eat dinner and get drunk enough to sing! Josie gave me the dvd before one of the concerts we went to together. We've gone to 3 or 4, and I feel super bad that I didn't even think to invite her this time. We were best friends back in 2010, and I'm not sure what happened. Nothing dramatic, no fight, we just grew apart I guess. And I'm sad about it.

I'm now singing NKOTB to Tabby-Wabby and apparently she is not a fan. My poor cat is probably so traumatized by my solo concerts. But she does not need to lay right in front of me, she could go lay on the other couch. So maybe she enjoys it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivu2ktfompc

Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you......

It's going to be a fabulous Friday! I'm back to being myself and liking myself, and I'm so happy for that. And by myself, I mean me both prior to my most recent lapse in judgement and prior to the whole 2010 b.s. that nearly ruined me. I'm good and I'm happy! And I'm finally not just saying that to try and convince myself it's true. I really feel it!

I'm over the hurt and confusion, and I'm over YOU! And by you, I do not mean Joey McIntyre. Joey, we are still so getting married next week.

I'm going to spend the day having an NKOTB concert in  my office to get ready for next week. I'm so glad I have the privacy to sing out loud uninterrupted! But then by the same token, what other adult that has their own office cranks up New Kids on the Block and sings along??? I'm certainly my own person!

Time to get some work done so I can get out of here at 2:30!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m02-RHN_hQE

Don't you know you're my kind? You're just what I like...

Oh, oh, she's my cover girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5d0T015ZA4

I'm so excited! I found what I'm wearing to the NKOTB concert! I just won it on eBay. I paid way more than I should for a 25 year old t-shirt, but AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! I can't wait until I get it! Now Joey HAS TO marry me!!! And yes, I realize I am both immature and obsessed. But I've had this stupid crush since I was 14 years old! 

I need more of you, changin' my rain into sun....

It's a perfect day out, 55 degrees and sunny. I wish the weather was like this year round.

I will soon be the proud owner of a New Kids on the Block sleeping bag. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it, but for some reason I NEEDED it. I need to stay away from eBay! I also have a door sized poster and a complete poster book. And 22 packs of trading cards. And a lunch box. And a water bottle. I so need an intervention STAT!

I'm doing my nails tonight for 80's Glee. I'm thinking clear polished nails with fluorescent colored tips, all different colors. Or if I can't find 10 different neon colors, then I could do 5. I have to sort through my polishes.

C-C-W keeps asking me what I want to do for my birthday. I'm going to be 30-10. How do you celebrate turning 40?? 40 sounds so old!  I want to do everything and nothing all at the same time. And that probably only makes sense to me. 

We are doing a fundraiser at work for the Ronald McDonald House, and so far we have raised enough money to wear jeans every Friday from Memorial Day to Labor Day, plus 2 extra days to use anytime. And for every $100 additional we raise, we get another floating jeans day. I'm not entirely sure why I'm so excited about this, I only have one pair of jeans that fit me right. But maybe its a good excuse to go shopping!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArwjReLirIw&index=2&list=PLyBBBocR84sHzoYV-Y_QhOOowQrL63F2I

I don't care what consequence it brings, I have been a fool for lesser things.....

It's Wednesday! The middle of the week, and just a few short days away from 80's Glee. And one week away from the wedding of my dreams!! JOEY!!! Both of these events are going to be SO! MUCH! FUN! It's been almost 2 years since I've seen NKOTB. The last time was July 2013. It was right in the middle of "Cabin Time", so I had to drive 2 hours home super hungover, go to the concert, and then drive 2 hours back to the cabin afterwards. Totally worth it!

I'm putting together the lyrics and playlist for Saturday and am having trouble narrowing it down to a reasonable number of songs. I want to sing everything! I got a lot of input from the other Glee'ers, but I also want to add so many songs. This party is going to end up lasting 52 hours with all the songs I want to sing.

There's a bake sale at work today. I just went and made a donation in exchange for NOT being able to buy anything. I hope they abide by my wishes and don't let me buy anything. I do not need any of the yummy cookies and bars. This is going to be hard, but I really don't want to eat anything with 11,000 calories. The princess made some Lucky Charms bars, and they look so good. I hope they sell.

I have a 3 day work week next week. I'm taking off Thursday and Friday for the wedding and honeymoon. Joey better come through for me!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_XgQhMPeEQ

And this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSq4B_zHqPM

You know that I have from the start......

I finished the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff book last night. I'm going to reread it because I want to highlight some parts and take notes and make lists of all the things I want to/need to work on. I think it may be hard to "love everyone, even the people who don't deserve it", but I'm committed. I'm committed to the concept and I know I can get there.

Saturday night is our 80's Glee event. I'm so excited, I love 80's clothes and hair. And I have a fantastic menu planned, I'm going with homemade mac & cheese and chicken fingers. And I think the Princess is making some cute little cupcakes. Otherwise I may make some Snickerdoodles because C-C-W has never had them and didn't even believe they were a real thing.

I'm currently bidding on a New Kids on the Block sleeping bag on ebay. Because this is something I so really need! I bought a bunch of posters to decorate for Saturday. And I may or may not have bought a shirt that says "Hello, my name is Mrs. Joey McIntyre".

Tonight I need to go to the grocery store. Tomorrow we are having a bake sale fundraiser and I need to create something to bring in. I'm leaning towards some kind of rice krispy bars, maybe Lucky Charms? I'm hoping I will get inspired once I start making my shopping list. I also need to get some fluorescent nail polish. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my nails, but I want them to be bright but also something I can wear to work. All these decisions......


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iol0B-clFFM

I'll bet you think this song is about you, Don't you? Don't you?

I had a fantastic Mothers Day. The princess and I spent the day playing cards and then we watched Clueless, which is one of those awesome movies that you can watch over and over and it's good every single time! She made me some awesome homemade foot scrub and lotion, which I love. But it wasn't the wonderful presents, it was spending time with her. I'm so lucky!!

Yesterday I made a set of note cards, and they are going to come in super handy for my next betterment project. I started reading Don't Sweat the Small Stuff....and its all small stuff. Yes, this book is almost 20 years old and I'm a little late getting on the bandwagon. But now, today, is when I need the messages the most. I need to find a way to reduce the stress and toxic thoughts I sometimes have. I want to be a loving and forgiving person towards everyone, even the people I don't really like or the people that I don't feel like deserve it. Because I want to feel that everyone deserves it.

Some of my actions have not been conducive to aspiring to be a good person. Like writing a blog post with the sole intent of making someone feel guilty or bad for hurting me. That's just really not fair to them. Everyone needs to take the actions that make the most sense to their life. I don't need to agree with what anyone else does. But I do need to accept it. I should not be projecting my hurt on to anyone else. They don't deserve it. And I'm sorry.

This being a better person thing is going to be a process. But I'm committed. The book has a lot of projects, and I'm going to try my hardest to complete them every single day. So first up:

I want to say thank you to my third grade teacher, Kris Gruber. There is very little chance she will remember me, and no chance she will remember what she wrote in my end of the school year "autograph" book. But its something that has stuck with, even though it's been over 30 years! I knew even in third grade that I loved writing and wanted to write, and even needed to write. She wrote a note encouraging me to continue writing. And it validated my desire to write. I don't want to write a novel, I just want to write for the sake of writing. And my blog fulfills that desire. And I owe Miss Gruber a huge thanks for her seemingly simple words that have had a huge impact on me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j13oJajXx0M

and this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOIo4lEpsPY

We Could Fly So High, Let Our Spirits Never Die....

It's Mothers Day.....one of those days that are both happy and sad. I want it to be a celebration, but I can't help being just a little sad. My mom was truly a wonderful mom. The greatest compliment I've ever received was after she passed away, someone told me that I reminded them of my mom and I was as nice and kindhearted as she was. I only wish that was true!

Since I'm feeling a little blah, I decided I NEEDED to make a list of the wonderful things in my life, the things I am so thankful for. So here goes:

*My wonderful daughter and how caring and thoughtful and kind she is.
*My Faith. Its been a struggle, but I am at a place where I can truly trust in God and his plan.
*My husband who loves me more than anything in the world.
*My family. My dad is a great guy who would do anything to help his kids.
*My friends. I have the two best friends in the entire universe and a bunch of very good friends.
*My Health. Yes, there is the high blood pressure and cholesterol, and I weigh more than I should. And the anxiety and depression. And the bursitis in my hip. And the.....Well, I'm leaving this one on the list because I am able to get out of bed every morning and stand on my own two feet. Even if I do have plantar fasciitis and it feels like I'm stepping on broken glass.
*My job. I know I complain about it, but I am so fortunate to have not just a job, but a career. A successful career that I'm really good at.
*Having enough money to buy everything we need and a lot of things we want. We are by no means rich, but we have more than enough. And we are so lucky for that.
*My home. Yes, I wish we had a 2 car garage and a basement and more storage. But our house is within our budget, its a place to live, and it's ours!!!
*Music. Where would I be without it?
*My problem solving ability and my lack of fear in undertaking new projects. Not very many people would just decide to rewire their furnace and move the thermostat across the room. Or re-do all of the floors in their house by themselves. But me, I will tackle any project!
*Tabby-Wabby. Although she is the biggest brat in the universe, she is overall a pretty good cat.
*My car. Its old, but its paid for. This is the longest I've ever had a car, and as much as I complain about it, I've had few problems (knock on wood) with it.

Hopefully next time I'm having a bad day I can look back at this list and know that I have so much to be happy about. I may have lost people, but I have so much left in my life.

It seems like every year holidays get harder and harder without my mom here. Maybe part of it is the guilt because I know she would not be very happy about some of the choices/mistakes I've made. But I know that her love, acceptance, and understanding was always unconditional and that she would take my side every single time. Even when I was clearly wrong.

The past few weeks have been especially challenging, but I think I am in a good place mentally and will celebrate the day with a few of my favorite things: coffee, leftover pizza, diet coke, and spending time with my daughter. And maybe a movie or something on netflix. Or a trip to the fabric store to get the rest of the stuff I will need for the blanket I'm making for C-H's baby. Or I might make some note cards. Or go tanning. Or go for a walk. I have so many options!!!

I love you and miss you Mom!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWf-eARnf6U

You can feel bad if it makes you feel better......

I woke up super early for a Saturday morning, but since I went to bed at 7:30, that kind of makes sense. I slept straight through until 5:30 am. I love sleep soooooo much! But now I've got to get up and get my day started. I'm going to go garage saleing (or is it saling? or does it matter since I'm making up the word?) with the Princess and her friend CH. It will be so much fun shopping for baby stuff!!

Last night C-C-W came over for dinner and we ordered pizza. It has been so long since I've ordered pizza, at least a month! lol For a long time we were ordering pizza at least once a week, usually twice. But ever since I started the chicken & brown rice diet, we've had pizza so much less. I really missed it! And C-C-W is so nice. She brought me a couple bottles of wine. I think tonight I will drink one. Or maybe both. We'll see how the day goes. I just love her to pieces and I'm so glad she's my friend! Not because she brought me wine, but because she's so nice and she makes me laugh!

I love love love the auto play option on youtube. I had no idea that Patty Loveless and George Jones did this song as a duet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M17i77wh730&list=PLehGdj7AH-dhmfCqj64-M7GZp_ZDGch6v&index=4 and it is fantastic!! I love finding new songs and new versions of songs!!!

Ok, time to shower and get dressed and start this day!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6qfOdET2KA

And this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eopNLWRW0IM&list=PLehGdj7AH-dhmfCqj64-M7GZp_ZDGch6v

Let's not let what never was bring us down...

It's Friday! This has been a long week. But I got through all but 3 of the 7,253 stacks of paper on my desk. And today I will get through 2 more. I hope. Then I can tackle my email mess. 

The scale was my friend today as I moved down into a new weight "decade". I only need to lose 30 more pounds before May 20 when I marry Joey McIntyre! Totally doable! 30 pounds in 12 days is very realistic!!

I got my new phone yesterday. LOVE IT! Its so pretty. The only really negative is that it imported ALL of the emails from one my accounts. All 3,721. and I am sadly not exaggerating with that number. Its going to take hours to delete them all. I guess that will be my weekend project. 

I'm not sure what I'm doing this weekend, but hopefully it's nothing. Sunday is mothers day, and that's always such a hard day. My mother-in-law usually plans a dinner, but I'm not really feeling it. I don't want to celebrate, I want to do Sudoku puzzles and listen to music. And spend time with  my daughter. 

I ordered a pair of pants online and the color is called "Reunion Navy". Basically it means that it is an almost blueish-green color that doesn't really match anything. I did find one shirt in my closet that will work with them, so what a great wardrobe investment I made! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A0-2dfil88

It's all a part of me, And that's who I am.......

So last week I deleted a blog post and ever since I've been trying to figure out why.  This is MY blog, and I write it for ME. My blog is public, and anyone and everyone is welcome to read it. I have nothing to hide. And I will never apologize for WHO or HOW I am. I have done NOTHING that I feel I need to defend, and I stand by all my choices and decisions. They were mine and mine alone. Just like this blog is MINE and MINE ALONE! Nothing in my life or my blog is about YOU!! It is about ME!! It is my thoughts and feelings. Its how I feel and who I am. And I should not have to censor who I am.

I'm not malicious or vengeful or vindictive, and I'm not angry or upset. I just don't do those kinds of negative emotions, I don't have them in  me. I am, however, hurt and confused. All I ever wanted was for us to be friends, and I thought we were. But involving a third party as a go-between to deliver the message that we can't be friends?? Are we in junior high??  I thought we were all adults? Yes, some of our conversations were flirty. And that flirtation was MUTUAL. And the flirting was harmless and fun. But the rest of our conversations were about music and movies and television shows and kittens and other things that friends talk about. We have a lot in common and it was fun chatting with you about all that. And you are very good friends with my bestest friend in the entire universe. It sort of makes sense that we would become friends.

The only thing I'm sorry about is that we can't be friends. And the only thing I'm hurt about is that you couldn't figure out a way to tell me yourself. I'm like the most accessible and least private person ever. My blog accepts anonymous comments, my email address is on my google+ profile, you could have gotten my phone # from multiple people, I have the market cornered on all things zenniezou, My email addresses: zenniezou@gmail.com, @yahoo.com, @outlook.com. My twitter is (surprise!), @zenniezou. My Facebook is Facebook.com/zenniezou, my myspace (does anyone even use that anymore) is myspace.com/zenniezou, you know where I live....I am completely public and am not at all hidden. You could have figured out a way to tell me yourself. And if you were not "allowed" to do that, then that is just sad. So the only alternative I can come up with is that you simply did not care enough to address this personally.

You can never have too many real friends and people that care about your well-being. And anyone who tries to limit that does not have your best interests at heart. I'm sorry for saying that, but its the truth. We all need people who care about us. We all need as many good, decent, kind, caring people in our lives as we can find.

I'm married and would not do anything to jeopardize that. But I'm also allowed to have friends and talk to whomever I want. My relationship is not a punishment or a jail sentence. Its a partnership based on mutual respect, love, consideration and understanding. And within it, I'm allowed to be an adult. And I would not tolerate a relationship any other way. I don't need to ask permission to hang out with my friends. Or to have friends for that matter.

Love should not imprison or trap you, love should make you feel free. Love should let you grow and encourage you to be surrounded by people who care about you. Love should trust and want you to be happy. Love should not dictate or demand. Love should want you to have real friends and love should trust your choices in friends. That's what love should want for you. And that's what I want for you.

--Insert the obligatory comment about always being here for you if you need anything. But you already know that because you KNOW that I am a kind, caring, selfless generous person--

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd9zYKLepCw

You're the reason why I sing this song....

I'm counting down to the New Kids on the Block concert on the 20th and the night I FINALLY become Mrs. Joey McIntyre! Joey, it's been 25 years!! After that long Joey, you owe me! I'm so excited to go see them with C-C-W. This will be the first time she gets to experience NKOTB with me. I hope she can handle me screaming like a 12 year old girl!!! We are in section 114, row 6, which are AWESOME seats. I'm so excited!!

Today I am going to clear one pile of the massive piles of paperwork on my desk. That is my goal, and I'm staying here until its done! I want to go tanning after work, so hopefully I can get through it quickly so I can get out of here.

OOOHH!! There is a sale at the Coach Outlet online! I hope I can find what I'm looking for! As a gift for someone, because I can't really justify buying myself another Coach. Plus I really think I want a D&B for my next handbag.

To YOU: I'm sorry, too. I also hope maybe someday we can be friends again. You are a beautiful person and I will forever be grateful for the changes in me you helped to inspire. I'm happier with myself than I have been in a very long time. I have running and writing back, and I missed both of those things so much. And they are here to stay! If you ever want to talk or need anything, you know where I am. And you have an open invitation to stop by my house anytime ever without even calling first!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbIEwIwYz-c

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.......

The princess's best friend, CH, is pregnant and having a little girl. I'm so excited, I love babies. But CH just lost her mom a couple months ago and I know how hard this is going to be for her. One of main reasons I don't have any more kids is because I'm not sure I could do it without my mom around. Well, I know I COULD do it, but I don't want to. I had the best mom in the universe, and without her advice and guidance, I just don't want to try to raise another child.

So one of my friends IRL was selling a baby swing on a Facebook garage sale site. It was a great deal, so I thought it would be perfect for CH. And, she was selling a huge box of diapers, so I bought those, too. Thank you so much for the great deals, AC!!! I stopped by her house tonight to get the items and I also got to see her adorable, smily little boy. He is just the happiest little guy ever!

CH- I am here to help you! Of course I will always babysit, but more than that, if you ever want to talk.... I've been both a young mom and someone dealing with the loss of their own mom. You'll get through this, and me and the princess will help in whatever ways we can!

Someone said something to me in passing that should not have affected me, but it sort of shook up my world a little tiny bit. Its not something that they would ever in a million years expect to have any effect on me at all,  but it was like a sharp knife in the heart. It just made me question some things that I really believed to be true. I guess I always knew that liars lie and cheaters cheat, but I've always told the truth. Always. And you lied. You didn't have to, but you did. And I have no idea why.

I'm going to go on the treadmill and run away my frustration. Well, I'm going to walk/jog/maybe run a little. =)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dltxQGr0AKQ

And I LOVE this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9Y6irYBlRY

Cause you know I love the players, And you love the game.....

I almost didn't go to yoga last night, but I'm so glad I did. I'm getting more and more flexible, which is super awesome! I was so tired, and it would have been so easy to skip it. I need to remember to remind myself that doing things like this are good for me, and I always feel better afterwards!

Last night I had a horrible dream that I was on a road trip with 2 of my sisters and it was like 4 in the morning and we needed to keep driving. We stopped at a gas station to get coffee, but when we went to the machine the cashier told us that the coffee machine didn't work. Then she offered us glasses and told us we could have a free pop. But the only pop choices were Sprite, 7-Up, Root Beer and Orange. What do they all have in common? NO CAFFEINE! And this is my life! LMAO

I decided yesterday that I need to get a new phone. My home button doesn't work and it is getting more and more annoying. Unfortunately since the phone I have is only a year and a half old, I can't really justify an upgrade. So I'm thinking my next phone will be a lateral move. I have an iPhone 5c, and I'm thinking of getting a gold 5s. I never really pictured myself as an iPhone fanatic, but I really do love my phone. Its not a Blackberry, but will I ever love a phone as much as I loved that one??


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg

Swept away for a moment by chance.... And we danced, danced

For a Monday, I'm in an insanely good mood. Maybe it was all the sleep I got this weekend?? Even knowing that I have 66 emails to deal with isn't making me cranky. I hope this lasts!! Yoga tonight, but first a trip to the grocery store. The Princess has decided that she too wants to eat chicken, brown rice and broccoli. This will make cooking and shopping so much easier!! Yesterday we assembled several days worth of lunches and dinners into plastic containers and filled the fridge. I'm glad that we will all be eating healthy!

I'm so excited that I only have one meeting on my calendar for this week. I swear last week was back to back meetings all week. For someone who is a true introvert like me, meetings are hard. All of the small talk and being expected to have something to say....it is just exhausting. People assume that I am shy, but that is not the case. I am not afraid to talk to people. I excel at public speaking, and can give speeches without being scared or nervous. I did all those plays without even batting an eye. But for some reason small groups are just so hard for me.

I went to Walgreen's yesterday, and on a scale of 1 to 10, I needed this at least an 11.5:

It's a post it note purse paperweight. And it is a lovely addition to my disastrously messy office!! Because I truly needed one more thing to take up space and add to the chaos!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB1Q-PfUvN0

And I'm pouring straight tequila over mixed emotions.....

I had a fantastic time at C-C-W's house. We did not accomplish all we wanted with our business venture, but we did get a lot done. And we sang lots of awesome songs, and I nearly finished a bottle of tequila. So, yes, I may still be a little bit tipsy. =)

I slept for 14 hours last night and this morning, so I'm wide awake. And very well rested! So I decided I would log into some of my alternate Facebook accounts to play Bingo Blitz. I was an admin in a bingo group for awhile, and when I took a leave, one of the other admin's volunteered to collect my daily credits. So I've got 2 Facebook accounts with over 3500 credits in each. I tried to play, but the caller was going too fast for my current level of drunkenness.

I really wish sometimes I would take the advice of the people I trust the most, but for some reason I rarely do. AB, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. You were so very right. Again!! And I didn't listen tonight when you told me to stay offline. So, I hope tomorrow this does not turn out to be a blog post I regret.  I know you're usually right, and I know you want nothing but the best for me. And I appreciate that and I love you to pieces for still being my friend even when I do such stupid stuff.

I sort of want to watch an episode of SoA, but I also want to keep listening to music.

p.s. If you knew me, I know you would like me. I've made mistakes and have some regrets, but at the end of the day I really am a kind, caring, considerate person who tries to help everyone I can and tries not to hurt people. And I am so sorry for anyone I've inadvertently hurt with some of my choices.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-cm7c4GwZY

Next time I see you, I'm giving you a high five.....

 Well, B is safe and sound in California. I did find a great way to stop the princess from crying at the airport yesterday and make her feel not so sad. She is so lucky I'm her mom! So lucky! Lol. I told her when we were walking into the airport that if she started to cry I was going to start to singing out loud. And when she inevitably got teary, I started singing. So she had to smile and laugh. This happened three times. When we were in the car, she thanked me for cheering her up, so it was a good plan. So then I took her shopping because really, shopping fixes everything. And she will be with B again in a few months and it will be her who has to sing to stop me from crying!!

I'm so excited that the 7th season of Son of Anarchy is on Amazon Prime!! I love Jax!! and I love the show. Even though I know how it's going to end, I'm still excited to watch. I'm going to try to not binge watch it so I can make it last longer. But that's going to be so hard!!

I really need another pedicure. I have a pedi play date with ZarahZou on the 23rd, but I may need to get one before then. Can you ever really have too many pedicures??

'cause hugs are overrated, just FYI
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8JUvbJekM88

But if somewhere in the middle's what you're lookin' for......

It's Friday!! And I get to wear jeans and leave work at 10:30. This would be a great day if it wasn't for the fact that B is moving back to Cali today. I'm dropping her off at the airport and then I get to go home and deal with my princess, who is likely to be a sobbing mess since her girlfriend is moving a billion miles away. And on top of that, I have to live with the fact that MissAlyssa will be moving to California in just a few short months. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive my baby leaving.

So now I'm stuck reflecting on the past. I've tried my hardest to be the best mom possible. I know I've made mistakes, but I tried. I really did. And I hope when she thinks back she will remember all of the game nights, the endless hours spent on bike rides and at the park, swimming in the ocean, the vacations, the 3 books at every time bedtime, making up the words to songs......

The only thing I really ever did wrong was not be as tough as I should have been. And maybe I was too overprotective. I know this, and I know she probably needed more discipline. But I really did try. And all I ever wanted for her has been accomplished. I wanted her to be a person who would be kind and caring and compassionate with little kids, old people and animals. And she is all that. She has a beautiful heart. And I don't know what else I could ask for. I'm so fortunate to be her mom.

Dammit! Now I'm getting all teary-eyed and she hasn't even left yet! I will most definitely miss B, she's lived with us for 2 years. But I know that the girls need to take the chance and try it on their own. I just need to let her go and find her own way. =(

On a happier note, tomorrow night I am going to go over to C-C-W's and we are finally going to get started on our most brilliant business plan ever!! Obviously I can't go into details on a public blog, but I think out of all of our plans this one is going to be the most fun and most successful! We've had good plans before, but we usually get to drunk to execute them.  But this time, we are determined!! I so love that my best friends are so supportive of my love for glitter and glue sticks!!!



I'm that kind of girl, yeah I'm that kind of girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-HVP01goE4