So last week I deleted a blog post and ever since I've been trying to figure out why. This is MY blog, and I write it for ME. My blog is public, and anyone and everyone is welcome to read it. I have nothing to hide. And I will never apologize for WHO or HOW I am. I have done NOTHING that I feel I need to defend, and I stand by all my choices and decisions. They were mine and mine alone. Just like this blog is MINE and MINE ALONE! Nothing in my life or my blog is about YOU!! It is about ME!! It is my thoughts and feelings. Its how I feel and who I am. And I should not have to censor who I am.
I'm not malicious or vengeful or vindictive, and I'm not angry or upset. I just don't do those kinds of negative emotions, I don't have them in me. I am, however, hurt and confused. All I ever wanted was for us to be friends, and I thought we were. But involving a third party as a go-between to deliver the message that we can't be friends?? Are we in junior high?? I thought we were all adults? Yes, some of our conversations were flirty. And that flirtation was MUTUAL. And the flirting was harmless and fun. But the rest of our conversations were about music and movies and television shows and kittens and other things that friends talk about. We have a lot in common and it was fun chatting with you about all that. And you are very good friends with my bestest friend in the entire universe. It sort of makes sense that we would become friends.
The only thing I'm sorry about is that we can't be friends. And the only thing I'm hurt about is that you couldn't figure out a way to tell me yourself. I'm like the most accessible and least private person ever. My blog accepts anonymous comments, my email address is on my google+ profile, you could have gotten my phone # from multiple people, I have the market cornered on all things zenniezou, My email addresses: zenniezou@gmail.com, @yahoo.com, @outlook.com. My twitter is (surprise!), @zenniezou. My Facebook is Facebook.com/zenniezou, my myspace (does anyone even use that anymore) is myspace.com/zenniezou, you know where I live....I am completely public and am not at all hidden. You could have figured out a way to tell me yourself. And if you were not "allowed" to do that, then that is just sad. So the only alternative I can come up with is that you simply did not care enough to address this personally.
You can never have too many real friends and people that care about your well-being. And anyone who tries to limit that does not have your best interests at heart. I'm sorry for saying that, but its the truth. We all need people who care about us. We all need as many good, decent, kind, caring people in our lives as we can find.
I'm married and would not do anything to jeopardize that. But I'm also allowed to have friends and talk to whomever I want. My relationship is not a punishment or a jail sentence. Its a partnership based on mutual respect, love, consideration and understanding. And within it, I'm allowed to be an adult. And I would not tolerate a relationship any other way. I don't need to ask permission to hang out with my friends. Or to have friends for that matter.
Love should not imprison or trap you, love should make you feel free. Love should let you grow and encourage you to be surrounded by people who care about you. Love should trust and want you to be happy. Love should not dictate or demand. Love should want you to have real friends and love should trust your choices in friends. That's what love should want for you. And that's what I want for you.
--Insert the obligatory comment about always being here for you if you need anything. But you already know that because you KNOW that I am a kind, caring, selfless generous person--
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd9zYKLepCw
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