Finally Friday!! I've got all my clothes sorted and ready to sell. Please let me make back at least my sellers fees tomorrow!!
So last night CH brought the baby over. As I often do, I took a picture of me and the baby and sent it to C-C-W and Ggg. They both messaged back " You and that baby again". That got me to thinking about why I am so enamored with this baby. I mean besides the fact that she is adorable. And I guess the truth is that I always imagined myself having more kids. At least 2 more babies. I was never lucky enough for that to happen. I love The Princess with all my heart, and I am very happy to have her. But I always imagined I would have more kids when I was more prepared. Because as hard as I tried, I made mistakes. I was young. And sometimes it's hard not to feel self-pity about my lot in life. And as much as my life sucks sometimes, holding the baby reminds me of all the good things in the world.
And I have to believe that everything that has happened has been for a reason. All the bad, all the heartbreak, all the pain.....eventually there must be a payoff for that. Or maybe there won't be. Maybe this is it. I just have to remember that God has a plan. And maybe I'm not here for me, but I'm here for someone else, to do good for someone else. And I have to accept that my life is greater than me, and I need to continue to give unselfishly and I need to keep loving unconditionally and know that what I do for others is always the most important thing. Always.
I don't mean any of that in a negative way, but really in the most positive way possible. It's not about me all the time. And I can deal with my pain. So maybe I need to find a way to help others deal with theirs.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd0-6zGkQe0
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